MIA

Summer is here and I imagine I will be here less and less. We are busy in the yard and trying to burn off all of that extra energy outside. WE had some sadness in our family. I am dealing with some real guilt, but I know it was an accident. We recently took 2 kittens into our home. They were abandoned and when I got them they were between 4-5 weeks old. Jacob named the one kitty Pink because of her little pink nose. She is a healthy spunky kitty. The other kitty I had no intention of bringing home. She was pathetic. She limped, she was bloated and ungroomed and that is exactly what pulled me to her. I fed her bottles of kitten formula, cleaned her and loved her. Jacob named her Smokey. She was a petite little thing weighing 0.8lbs at the time we lost her. See, this is where it gets hard. Not only is it hard because Smokey died, it is very difficult to tell how she died. I do think it may be cathartic though, so here goes.
Jacob was playing with Smokey a week ago. He had a feather on the end of a string and she was frolicking. My little Danny wanted to join in the play with the kitty and we have been constantly working with him to be "gentle" with the kitties. Well, my 2 year old boy picked up the kitty condo (the only other object from the cat toy Jacob was using that he knew was for the kitties) and he threw it down on top of her. It crushed her head. Although there were no fractures it was a traumatic blunt force to her head. I was hysterical as I held her in my arms and called E at work. We took her to the ER clinic and she stayed the night with them. Since she survived the night we had hope she would make it. We had to pick her up and bring her to another vet for her daytime care and it was at that point we had to make a decision. By that afternoon she had made no progress in recovery. We had to euthanize her. It was awful and peaceful at the same time. She is now buried near Whiskey under the tree in our back yard.
I have really struggled with the fact that I chose to bring these kittens into my home and keep them safe, yet I was unable to protect her from my own boy. I know realistically she was not a healthy cat and there was a good chance she would not have made it anyway. She was malnourished despite my bottle feedings. She had a weak skeletal frame and I think they may have suspected feline leukemia, but still it sucks. It was a horrible way for her to die.
My sweet Jacob was such a trooper. He kept trying to comfort me and kept telling his daddy "Mommy is so sad". He also suggested we get a new kitty and a new baby. Apparently he is ready to trade Danny in for a different model. lol
So that is my quick update.
And Zeeks if you are reading this, I am sorry I never got a chance to e-mail you before you closed down your site. I enjoyed reading your perspective on my aspects of your life and will miss that. I wish you and Spunky the best.