I'm crying it out right along with him.
Danny cried himself to sleep tonight and it broke my heart, but I HAD to do it. He sleeps through the night with out any problems, but getting him down is a major issue and it's my own fault. I'm weak and couldn't let him CIO. I knew from the beginning that I should be working toward this goal because I didn't do it with Jacob nad I paid the price. And so has Jacob, unable to fall asleep by himself, always needing one of us to lay down an dsnuggle with him.
I'm home in the evenings by myself and I'm the one who has to put the kids to bed everynight. At first Danny would fall asleep in my arms and I could put him to bed where he would sleep through the night. Then it switched to him falling asleep in my arms, then a transition to the sofa for 20 minutes before the final move to the crib. Then another step was added...I would have to go get him out of the crib an dhold him for a little bit to get him to fall back asleep and then into the crib. Finally all hell broke loose this week (bad timing as I was overworked and overtired) when Danny started screaming about 15 minutes after I put him down. We would repeat the routine and 15 minutes later he would wake screaming again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
My ugly side came out. The part of me I loathe. The part of me that yells at my children. I'm ashamed. I yelled at my 6 month old baby. Who does this? I realized I was not coping with his sleeping habits. (Add in a 2 year old who still needs me to lay down with him at night and has been staying up until 10 or 11. I get up at 5:30 am and was having no time to unwind from my day....I know excuses).
So tonight DH was home and I said I have to let him cry it out. I had already tried the "Ferber method" and it only made Danny more upset. So I made the decision to let him cry (well scream actually) without going in to reassure him. It took 14 minutes and 45 secs for him to stop crying and it broke my heart. DH is home again tomorrow so I'll do it again. Someone please tell me it gets better.
posted by barb at 10:01 PM
4 Comments:
HUGS! I wish I had some advice to give you, but I don't. Kristoffer is 6 months old now and falls asleep in my arms (or in Bjørn's arms) and we put him to bed. He usually falls asleep drinking his last bottle of the day. I guess we're pretty lucky. A few times he has had trouble going to sleep at night so we end up walking through the house with him until he falls asleep. I feel for you! Good luck and I hope he falls asleep on his own!
4:36 AM
Oh Barb, I'm sorry you've had so much stress lately. Though I can't say that I know from experience, Bella being younger, I do understand that it does get better. I know it will for you, and for Danny. I promise he won't be traumatized by the yelling. We all have our breaking points, and it could be a lot worse than that! You're a good mommy who just loves her babies. It's hard not to hold them all of the time, but hard to always be able to, too. Hang in there. Thinking of you tonight...
6:46 PM
I am glad I am not the only that is weak when it comes putting the babe to sleep. Alex gets so tired and falls alseep great while I am nursing him before bed or falls asleep in our arms but does NOT want to be put in his crib. He does not want o sleep yet he is SOOOO tired. So really the only solution to teach him that it is time for bed is to let him CIO. I hate it, it is so hard to hear him. Sometimes it only lasts 5 minutes other times he cries for at least 30-45 minutes. Even when we go in to get him and hold him he cries. The hard thing is to stay consistant so that he understands. Wow this parenting thing can be hard.
2:17 PM
I have the same bridge to cross with Josh as I nurse him to sleep each night and am by myself in the evenings right now as well. I don't plan on nursing him to sleep when he is two, lol! And it does get better. ((hugs))
8:22 PM
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