You're a Naughty Child and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You!!

OK, so my sense of humor may be tainted by the fact that I watch tv at 4:00am while breastfeeding, but Family Guy and the Oblongs have become a staple in my house. We attempted a poopy in the potty with Jacob but ended up with poop smeared across the wall, the toilet seat and my hand. Oh well, it's not agood day unless I've been puked on and shit on by at least one child.

1 Month!!

My ray of sunshine. I can't believe it's been a month already. It seems like he was just born yesterday and yet like he's always been here. I love him so much. My sweetest moments come when he is sleeping and I can let my lips fall onto his scalp and just barely kiss him. It's my heaven. Daniel is starting to wake up more. I actually get to look into his eyes now. He was a very sleepy baby those first 2 weeks. The acid reflux is getting worse. I think I'll have to call the doctor tomorrow. Poor thing spewed milk 6 times today. I feel so bad because he is so hungry right after he does this and my breast are empty. Luckily I have been pumping at least one extra bottle's worth so I can replace what he spits up.

Jacob and Daniel together is amazing. However, I do have to keep Jacob from loving his brother too much. He wants to hug and squeeze him. He has also tried to bite him on a few occassions when he has become frustrated with not getting enough of my attention.

I gaze at my son and I can't help but wonder about my lost one. Who would he or she have looked like. Would they have looked like Daniel? Would they have been a boy? Would they have had such a sweet personality? But then if I had my lost one would I have Daniel? It's with both sadness and gratitude that I think about these things. Sad for the one that I will never meet and grateful for the one that I did.

My two loves.

Here's a pic of my two guys. As you can see Jacob has adjusted to having a baby brother. Daniel on the other hand I think is in a little bit of shock at having an older brother. Who knew he was going to feel so much love. And Jacob lets you feel his love with giant bear hugs and sloppy wet kisses. Daniel is not appreciative.

 

We made it back to birth weight!!

Plus 1 ounce!! Daniel weighs 9lbs 8oz and is doing great. He might have a little acid reflux, but it's a mild case so as long as he keeps a good weight gain going and doesn't spew more than 3 times a day we will not start any medications. I really don't think they are neccessary yet.
Life as a mom of two has been wonderful and not. At first I was so devistated that I hurt Jacob. He was so crushed when we brought the baby home. I truely broke his heart and that in turn broke mine. Here I was a new mom to this beautiful little boy who was just beginning to grow in my heart and yet he was the cause of so much heartache at the same time. My worst night came when I tried to put Jacob to bed. I turned out the light and went to lay down with him and he screamed and cried and crawled out of bed. I could hear him sobbing in the dark and when I turned the light back on he was standing in the corner with his back to me. I was crushed. I sat on the floor and started to sob myself. How could I have destroyed my little guy's world. I grabbed him in my arms and pulled him in tight and the two of us cried. I started to sing our song "Sweet CHild of Mine" and we began to sob even harder. I have never held my child so tight in my arms and I don't think he has ever held on to me so tightly. We could not let go of each other. It was like we needed to reassure each other that our love was still there and that although our world had become chaos that didn't change "us". That was my worst night and my best night. My heart broke so much and healed at the same time.
Now life is good. Jacob refuses to let Daniel wear socks because he wants to hold his feet. And he likes to touch his hands, stroke his face and give him kisses. He helps me change Daniel's diaper and laughed hysterically as Daniel peed on himself. Life with my boys is beautiful and although I do find myself becoming frustrated at times I am so blessed and I hope I never take a moment for granted.

Here he is.

Photobucket

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

2 week update

Daniel is a sweetheart. I am so in love with him. We just went to the docs for a weight check b/c he was still dropping last week, but this week we are back up to 9lbs. We'll have to get checked again next week too. They will keep checking him until he gets back to his birth weight which should be by next week. He spits up quite a bit, so that might be why he is a slow gainer. He is now spending more time with his eyes open checking out the world. He usually wants to do this attatched to my breast, but I need a break so he gets the paci. This brings a great amount of amusement to Jacob though as he repeatedly pulls the bink out of Daniel's mouth and then tries to stick it back in. Hours of fun I tell ya!!
I haven't posted any pics yet b/c I had trouble witht he hello software and DH doesn't want it on the computer. Can't blame him, it really flubbed it up a while ago. In the meantime I am trying to put together a website (I used to have an ivillage one, but it's gone now). As soon as I am able to post some pics I will.