We interupt your regularly scheduled programming for this break in mental health.

I felt I needed to do a tribute for mother's day. How can I dislike my own mother so much? Isn't that just an aweful way to feel? Fortunately my brother is visiting and we can comiserate together. My mother made her children her life, we were everything and she made sure we knew it. The layers of guilt she has placed upon us have been suffocating and it's really not working anymore. Example; She called the other night to say (her words) "Imagine how horrible and embarrased I felt when my very own neighbor showed up at my door with a picture of my grandson" (It was the birth announcement and her neighbor is my aunt). I was floored and after quickly regaining my composure I explained to her that I had given her the birth announcement in person the week prior. She had no recollection of this and her response was "Oh". No I'm sorry. And you know what my thoughts were....'In your face!!!' Of course I didn't say that (except to my brother and husband). She always pulls this kind of guilt crap. And I am sick of it. I always thought my mom championed over so many things in her life and am now left wondering if what I see her as now is how she has always been. It would explain why there is so much family strife amongst her brothers and sisters.
And I have my dad (who is divorced from my mom) showing up on my doorstep out of the blue to let me know he is pissed at my mom. He just found out that she didn't have the money to pay her taxes and asked my brother for it. This happened last year. And you know what, she doesn't have the money again this year. I refuse to pay. My brother refuses to pay. I have been asking her all year if she is going to have the money. When she was frivously spending money at the holidays I asked her to please use the money for bills or her taxes and she ignored me. I cannot bail her out. They are potentially going to lose their home and I asked if she's heard anymore about the status and she says no. But, no news is good news, right. This floors me. Wouldn't you be doing everything in your power to find out what you need to do to keep your home? I can't believe how much anger I have toward her.
Oh and my dad is also worried my brother (not the one I share confidences with) is about to have a psychotic break and is worried for his own safety and my mother's and step-dads and is also concerned about my kids and would like me to keep them "away" from him. I can't do that. I don't leave my kids alone with my brother, but my dad has a point. If my brother snaps (which he has done in the past, more than once) I could be in serious trouble. My brother is 350+lbs and when he snaps he is not "there". He and my father ended up going through a sliding glass door last time. And one time my brother completely tore apart my mothers wooden bed with his bare hands. How do I handle this?
And we are back to my anger. I am angry because I do not have a "normal" family. I have a brother where i have to worry about if he's about to "snap" and how I keep myself and my children safe. I have a mother who I never measured up to as daughter material. She wants this emotional bond between us that she has always forced upon me and has only resulted in me pulling further away. She didn't speak to me for a few days because I didn't want her to be around when I delivered Daniel, I wanted to call her. She also proceded to call me an ungrateful bitch to my brother. Anyway...Happy Mothers Day.